“The first way to know if your relationship is worth saving is that you are both committed to growth, individually and together.” Google
When considering your relationship, your partner should be the first person you trust or feel comfortable with. So why the doubt?
If there is uncertainty about your partner in your life? Being in a relationship demands sacrifices from both parties and the following may help when considering whether you are right or wrong about the relationship.
“I Only Have Eyes for You”
Ok, first of all we assume that the sex is ok, as if that is your only concern, this post may not be of any help to you.
We assume that there is nothing wrong in that department and you are not interested or do not want anyone else.
Look this one needs to be clarified before guilt creeps in. There is nothing wrong in giving a fleeting look at a man or woman that passes you by and who you thought were attractive. You cannot fight what is in every ones’ DNA and it is only natural. -Darwinesque perpetuation of the species and all that.
Of course, if you want try and take it up further, you have already answered the question but in an inverted way. You are not worth your partner’s time! Faithfulness and loyalty are the foundation of a stable relationship-without it your relationship is doomed. If you are failing in that area, you should walk away to stop inevitable heartbreak.
“A tingle in your stomach”
You feel a tingle in your stomach, sometimes known as ‘butterflies’ or you feel happiness when your partner enters the room.
The ‘butterflies’ thing normally happens at the start of a relationship which is a sign of excitement and expectation. It is a good sign. If you still get it after a long while then you are lucky. Feeling happiness being with your partner is a very good sign as long as they reciprocate the feelings.
Don’t worry too much if the ‘butterflies’ have ended, as long as you are happy with your partner. If you are both apart for some time, it is quite likely that the ‘butterflies’ will come back when your partner returns. What is certain is that if you are happy on their return, by virtue of just their presence, then that box it ticked ‘ok’.
“You are nice to have around”
In other words, he or she is your best friend and you prefer their company to others. Yes, you have friends and you really enjoy seeing them when you can but they too have their own lives to lead which suits you very well.
In the end, your partner is the one you want to be with regularly as you enjoy being with them more than without them and you hate the thought of being apart from them. You are confident that this is not insecurity on your part and, as you trust your partner, you just don’t want to be away from him or her for too long. It is a preference thing that you feel comfortable with.
A very good sign that you have something good going is when you say that whether you are out with your partner or at home; you have fun together.
“It’s good to talk”
Communication is one of the most important facets of keeping a good relationship going whether it is in business or with a personal relationship. So, if you are unsure where you stand in this relationship, now is the time to speak up.
The danger is that once you ‘get used to’ your partner, you stop communicating. If you suspect there is something wrong in your relationship, then talking it through is key. If you still talk to each other, even if it is about the most trivial occurrence in the day, then you are in a positive place.
These are key factors when communicating with your partner:
- You feel you can bring up any subject without offence
- Do not keep secrets from your partner
- Be open and honest with your partner
- You can cry in front of your partner and he/she is there for you
- You feel that your partner is being honest with you
- You can both vent your anger at something your partner has done – you resolve it and the anger is soon forgotten
“We can work it out”
This goes on from the last one. At some point in your relationship, you will have an event or a difference of opinion that is significant. It is how you deal with it that counts and a strong indication whether the relationship is staying on track or worth keeping.
There is no productive sense in shouting at each other but you will have to communicate. Here are some indicators that your relationship is strong and worth keeping:
- Something bothers you in the relationship and you raise it in a conversation. Your partner listens and is receptive and makes an effort to make a change that is acceptable to you. This of course works both ways.
- You have other commitments that he or she have an issue with. For example, your job dictates that you work long hours or you have a regular evening with your friends socially. You explain why you have these commitments and your partner accepts them.
- You have a habit of forgetting to get things in your daily activities. You need a favour from your partner to run an errand you forgot to complete, such as something you forgot to get from the supermarket. Whatever it is, your partner finds the time without complaining to complete the task.
- You are out in public, a function for example, and one of you has annoyed the other with some action during the event. I appreciate that if alcohol is involved that this could be difficult! But you manage to avoid the explosive confrontation and agree to discuss it when you get home. Upon returning to your abode, you talk it out and resolve it.
“I am my own person”
You can be yourself around your partner and don’t just feel you are an appendage. You have your own interests and opinions and your partner understands and accepts your position.
Here are some strong indicators that you have a good thing going with your partner:
- Your relationship has lasted a long-distance relationship at the beginning with the goal that you wanted to build a life together. You were both faithful to each other whilst you were apart and you feel that you coming together was the right thing.
- Your partner has a healthy interest about your relationship with your friends. He or she does not try and plant a wedge between you and your friends and is happy to discuss your friends with you. Moreover, your partner understands when you go out with your friends (within moderation!) as he or she understands that social bonding is a necessary part in human behavior. If your friend is experiencing a ‘crisis’ and you need to go and comfort them, your partner accepts this and supports your position.
- As with all of these pointers above, it should work both ways to be successful.
“We are planning for the future”
Marriage may or may not be in the equation but you both see the same about the future. You see a future together.
This includes both of your individual interests and commitments and your plans for your relationship.
This is the great part of being in a relationship. Sharing your ideas, dreams and goals together and planning how you are going to turn them into reality. You have discussed this and you feel confident in setting your goals together.
Bonus 1-Do you feel that you need to improve your relationship with your partner? No promises-but this may help. See ‘Expert dating and relationship advice’. It may help to put your relationship back on track. Click on image for details:
Bonus 2-See our own video on “How to keep a healthy relationship with your partner”. Click on the image link: