What is stopping you from achieving your dream?

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them” Walt Disney

Before we start, this post is about achieving a realistic dream. If you want to be the best footballer whoever lived or the greatest writer of all time, that maybe impossible. You see I did use the word ‘maybe’.

Everything begins in the heart and mind. You have a dream. Your heart is set on it and it is realistic but you keep finding reasons why you cannot achieve it. Well that simply won’t do! Attaining your dream is like going on a journey but with the added element being that it is up to you how long it is going to take.

In order to achieve your dream, you will have to remove the doubt that you will not be able to accomplish it. Here are three things that doubt thrives on and you need to remove them from the process:

#1 Lack of belief

Here are some pointers for you to consider that just may alter your conditioned perspective of lack of belief.

Stop being a dream doubter. You don’t believe that you have what it takes to turn your dream into reality. Whilst you watch on tv or in the newspaper, someone who is living your dream, you do not believe that you too can do it.

Own the dream-it is yours. You have to believe that you can achieve it even if other people disagree. You are probably going to have your critics who think your dream is “unachievable” or “you don’t have what it takes”. Ignore them. Don’t let them create your world or make you think too small.

Believe it can happen to you. Sometimes the line between success and failure is very thin and mainly comes down to believing in yourself. If you don’t believe it can be done, how can others believe that you can do it? Everything that you ever achieved so far, had one small but vital ingredient. You believed that you could do it. So why do you not adopt this attitude when thinking about your dream?

#2 No faith in the course of action

This is known as not trusting the process. You believe in your dream but have lack of faith in the method of getting there

You feel that the process is too long or too hard so you never pursue it. Never let being a realist get in the way of your dream. Do not think “it’s not for me” or “it’s too hard”. Just think of the joy you will feel when you accomplish your dream.

Do not let the detractors make you doubt the process by feeding you negative thoughts. They could give you many reasons why you will fail but do not listen to them.

You may have an idea what the process is to achieve your dream. It maybe tough, it maybe a long drawn out progression or procedure but nothing that is worthwhile is intended to be easy. “Never give up”. It you stick with it, everything will fall into place and you will have the satisfaction of accomplishment and the knowledge that your convictions were justified. The result will be a new form of confidence in yourself that can result in you looking out for your next goal. We are never the finished article as there is always something else to pursue on our journey of achievement.

#3 You do not trust yourself

This means that you must stop getting into the habit of being self-critical and beating yourself up when you fail. We all fail. So, don’t be afraid of rejection-all successful people have experienced it from time to time. The secret is “Never give up”.

If you feel that whatever you do is not good enough, then you do not trust yourself. This means that you do not trust your own judgement and your dream is just that-a dream. You will not go onto the next steps of turning your dream into reality.

The classic example of this is not going for that promotion. Other people are applying for the position but you have already convinced yourself that you are not good enough. How do you know unless you apply? Yes, you maybe unsuccessful but even if you fail in getting the job, experiencing the process is invaluable. If you glean anything from the process, you have learnt something.

Also don’t be afraid to ask the person that interviewed you for the reasons you were unsuccessful and what you could do to improve. People hardly ever ask these questions following a rejection. So be original-ask! The person who interviewed you or put you forward will have the reasons why you were not successful and will be surprised that you asked. This shows your initiative and will likely make you memorable for the right reasons-and you will get valuable information to take with you on the next part of the journey to success. Remember-it is a journey.

If you would like to hear of a famous person not giving up and keeping his dream alive, click on the Bonus 1 link below to hear his view on achieving his goal and not giving up.

What to do next?

Everyone has dreams but not everyone possesses the power, knowledge and ability to make their dreams a reality. Here are some tips to adopt on the journey to achieving your dream:

  1. Mindset-Step into the feeling that your dream is already a reality. If you have set your mind into believing that it can be done-the transition will be natural and easier. Write your dream down on a piece of paper and hang it on the wall, fridge or wherever you can see it first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Visualisation is a powerful thing.
  2. Research-You now know what your dream is. Now surf the net on the subject and make notes on what you need to do to make it a reality. Make notes from people who have already been successful. This is where you will realize the scope of the undertaking and what you will have to do to attain your goal. Do not feel that it is impossible, what you want was never going to be easy.
  3. Record-Write your goals down. Start with a monthly plan for what you want to focus on. Then create a weekly and daily snapshot of what you will work on — make sure your plan is realistic and attainable.
  4. Off you go-Take simple small steps on the journey and treat every step as a success.
  5. Share-Discuss your dream with likeminded people or friends/family. Whilst it is a good to talk, If your dream is realistic and attainable, they should support you or at least understand what you about to embark on giving you encouragement on the way.
  6. Awareness-Your journey will not be easy as the road will be uneven at times and there maybe barriers or blocks in the road. Be aware of this and accept it as part of the ride. You can smile later when you have accomplished your goal.
  7. Never give up!

Bonus 1-See our video on “Believe in your dreams. (Dreams cost nothing)”. Sylvester Stallone, one of the all-time great iconic hero actors talks here about his dreams when he started out trying to make it in Hollywood. It is inspirational. No one can take your dreams away from you if you don’t let them. Click on the image link below:

Bonus 2-Can you achieve a realistic dream or accomplish your goals? Absolutely! Have a look at ‘The Light Code that can help you remove feelings that hold you back in improving your life. Click on image for details:


Why it is good to exercise?

The benefits of regular exercise are readily apparent but not all people are aware of how good it is for you or feel the need to take a little time out of their day to exercise. Here are 5 reasons why regular exercise is beneficial to your wellbeing:

#1 Good for weight control

When you engage in physical exercise, you burn calories which increases your metabolism. This is in turn helps you lose weight. Consistency is the key.

Regular exercise is beneficial in maintaining weight loss. You do not have to be at a gym every day. Take the stairs instead of the lift or, if reasonable, walk to your destination instead of using the car or bus.

Just two points to make here. Firstly, exercising is not the only tool you need to lose weight. Eating a sensible diet is crucial as well.

Secondly, if you have not exercised for a little while, and then you start, you may find that initially you put weight on! You may notice that you look thinner but weigh more. This is because you are increasing muscle tone. As long as you eat sensibly and regularly exercise, you will lose weight and maintain the weight you feel comfortable with.

#2 Good for your health

Regular exercise is good for your heart and blood circulation. Studies have found that regular workouts resulted in improvements in heart function and blood-sugar control.

It also helps prevent adverse health conditions such a stroke, type 2 diabetes, high blood press, various types of cancer and a cholesterol which causes heart disease,to name but a few.

It is not only good for your body but also for your mind. With regular exercise, you are stimulating the chemicals that affect the growth of brains cells particularly in part of your brain known as the hippocampus. The Hippocampus is mainly responsible for memory which declines in older age thus raising the danger of dementia.

Regular exercise improves the neural connections in your brain which enhances, learning, thinking, reasoning, problem solving and memory retention.

#3 Good for your emotional health

It is medically believed that any form of exercise has the potential to increase mental alertness and provide an emotional lift.

Well maybe not as much as that! But it is true to say that physical exercise stimulates the chemicals in the brain. In particular, the brain releases ‘feel-good’ chemicals known as endorphins throughout the body. Physical activity can reduce your feeling of anxiety, lift a depressed mood, and build your self-esteem.

Alternatively, if you are adverse or unable to run, walking provides benefits to your emotional health. It is recommended, that if you could possibly manage the time, (see our link below for our video on finding time to exercise) you should strive to include a brisk walk in your everyday routine for at least 30 minutes most days of the week, or if you have the inclination, to run for at least 20 minutes three or more days each week.

#4 Good for an energy boost

The amount of energy you produce is a direct result of your diet and the amount of what is known as mitochondria your body produces.

Mitochondria makes most of the molecule, adenosine triphosphate (ATP), which your cells use as a source of energy. Quite simply, the more active you are, the more mitochondria your body makes.

Exercising improves cardiovascular health and fitness through the body’s ability to circulate oxygen. What you will find is that you will initially experience fatigue after high intensity training for example, but then a few hours later you will find that your energy levels pick up. 

If performing regular exercise, you will steadily experience being less tired and in better physical condition. It also improves your muscle strength and endurance.

#5 Good for a better night’s sleep

Having trouble sleeping? Try regular exercise over a period of 4 to 24 weeks. The results of medical studies over this timeframe showed that people with insomnia, slept better and fell asleep faster than normal. The benefit is that you awake in the morning feeling refreshed.

As we have already covered above, exercise requires you to use up energy, which in turn helps you feel more tired at the end of the day. In addition to improving the quality of sleep, exercise also can help you increase the duration of your regular nightly sleep cycle.

One word of warning though, do not exercise just before you go to sleep as you maybe too stimulated to get to sleep.

(see our link below (Bonus 3) to our video on having trouble with sleeping-‘10 ways to fight insomnia)

#Bonus 1

See our video on “4 ways to find the time to exercise”. Click on the image to view the video:

#Bonus 2

See-‘Bodyweight Burn-Fat Loss’ The 21 minutes a day exercise that is working better than conventional exercises by utilising your bodyweight. Click here for details.

#Bonus 3

See our video on “10 ways to fight insomnia”. Click on the image to view the video:

9 types of intelligence-which one are you?

Howard Gardner an American cognitive psychologist and author, introduced the theory of multiple types of intelligences humans possess. His original concept included 7 but this now has expanded. You definitely possess at least one or maybe more. Here are 9 Types of Intelligence: Which one(s) do you possess?

#1 Naturalist Intelligence

People with Naturalist Intelligence have an instinctive relationship with natural surroundings.

People with Naturalist Intelligence possess sensory awareness and observe and understand patterns within the natural environment, they have an exceptional caring for wildlife, plants, trees and the ecosystem.

Naturalism was a literary movement taking place from 1865 to 1900 and is the idea or belief that only natural laws and forces (as opposed to supernatural or spiritual ones) operate in the universe. Naturalists are heavily influenced by the evolution theory of Charles Darwin. Naturalists can distinguish patterns in nature and have the special ability to grow plants, vegetables and fruit. They also have an affinity with animals and have the ability to train animals.

#2 Musical Intelligence

People that possess musical intelligence are blessed with a natural understanding of pitch, rhythm, timbre and tone.

With these gifts, people can create, reproduce and reflect on music as displayed by musicians, vocalists, composers and conductors around the world.

Musical intelligence recognizes musical patterns and tones easily. They can remember songs and melodies and are able to learn to read and recreate musical notes.

Critics, however, feel that musical intelligence should be viewed not as an intelligence but viewed instead as a talent. They argue that musical intelligence is categorized as a talent because it does not have to change to meet life demands. What do you think?

#3 Logical Mathematical Intelligence

Mathematical logic incorporates abstract symbolic thought.

It allows us to see relationships in shapes and symbols in order to solve problems and is crucial to problem solving and critical thinking.

People who possess logical mathematical intelligence show the ability to analyze situations or problems logically, to identify solutions, to conduct scientific research, and to solve logical or mathematical operations easily. People who excel with this quality are often mathematicians, scientists or detectives.

#4 Existential Intelligence

People with existential intelligence ask the profound questions How did we get here? Why are we here? What purpose does our existence serve?”

It is not so important to have the answers, merely that they were raised in the first place. They are abstract, philosophical thinkers who have the ability to use meta-cognition to explore the unknown. Meta-cognition is about thinking about one’s thinking with the ability to examine how you process thoughts and feelings. A bit of a mouthful but they think outside the box.

Socrates and the Buddha are examples of famous figures who exhibited an exceptional level of existential intelligence.

#5 Inter Personal Intelligence

Interpersonal intelligence refers to our ability to understand and relate to other people.

Put quite simply “you get people”. It is to have empathy with people, the ability to note distinctions among others.  

They are easily able to pick up on the feelings, mood, motivation, and intentions of those around them. These individuals may often enjoy debate or discussions. People with interpersonal intelligence, such as Mahatma Gandhi and Cesar Chavez.

#6 Bodily-Kinaesthetic Intelligence

Bodily-kinesthetic is a learning style often referred to as ‘learning with the hands’ or physical learning.

Basically, people with bodily-kinesthetic intelligence can learn more easily by doing. They are proficient in the following:

  • Good at dancing and sports.
  • Enjoy creating things with his or her hands.
  • Have excellent physical coordination and motor skills
  • Remember by doing, rather than hearing or seeing

#7 Linguistic Intelligence

Linguistic Intelligence deals with sensitivity to the spoken and written language.

Do you have a vast vocabulary? Linguistic Intelligence allows you to have the ability to learn languages, and capacity to use language to accomplish certain goals. People with this type of intelligence enjoy reading and writing and have an excellent knack for picking up new languages and can find the beauty in the words and languages.

Those with linguistic intelligence are best suited to careers as journalists, authors, copy editors, teachers, actors, public speakers, lawyers, and broadcasters.

#8 Intrapersonal Intelligence

Intrapersonal intelligence is the capacity to explore one’s inner world and feelings.

Their mind is their ‘safe-haven’ and they are at one with their self. Thus. they are crucially aware of want makes themselves ‘tick’ as they very quickly understand their emotions feelings and what motivates them. What is common lies in the young who largely not only have an inclination of what they want to be when they are adults but how to achieve it.

These are the ‘daydreamers’ who assess their own personal strengths and like exploring relationships with others.

#9 Spatial Intelligence

Spatial intelligence, or visuo-spatial ability, is the ability “has been defined “to generate, retain, retrieve, and transform well-structured visual images” (Lohman 1996).

What this means is that people who possess spatial intelligence have a thought process that is in 3 dimensions and they have the ability to visualize the world accurately. But it goes more than that. Based upon their perception, they are able to modify and recreate aspects of their visual experiences. It is a mental feat.

They excel in imagining an object before something is created which makes them excellent architects and engineers. They are good at drawing, painting, solving puzzles and mazes and recognize patterns easily.

Leonardo Da Vinci and Michelangelo are both famous exponents of high visual-spatial, or visual, intelligence arguably creating the greatest works of art in history.

So there you are, the 9 types of intelligence. Which one are you, or do you possess more than 1? Let us know in the comments.

Bonus 1 See our video on “7 people with unusual mental gifts”. Click on the image link:

Bonus 2 Can your intelligence be improved? See ‘Roadmap to Genius’ that can help make you smarter. Click on here for details:

Hi! I’m your Guardian Angel

“A guardian angel is a type of angel that is assigned to protect and guide a particular person, group or nation.” Wikipedia

It is generally accepted (amongst the enlightened) that we are all assigned a guardian angel (or it can be many) at birth. The word angel derives from the Greek word angelos, meaning “messenger.” Guardian angels are there to protect you, provide guidance, give comfort and bring people and opportunities into your life and throughout your life. Their biggest problem is that you may not be aware of them or listening to their messages.

There are many signs that your guardian angel is contacting you, but here are six common signs:

#1 WHITE FEATHER

I’m from your Guardian Angel
Who’s been assigned to you.
She dropped this in her struggles
As she protected you.

Each time you feel that you’re alone,
Each time you nearly fall
I’m here to remind you:
You’re not alone at all.

unknown author

Your guardian angel is never far away but if you come across a white feather, this is the classic sign your guardian angel is trying to let you know of their presence and that you are not alone. It is said that discovering the feather in an unlikely location or in unusual circumstances means that your angel is telling you that they are not far away and giving you hope and encouragement. A white feather normally appears just when you need it the most and is a symbol of unconditional love

If or when you find a white feather ask yourself these questions:

What were you thinking at the time of the discovery?

What did you feel when you found it?

Has something happened recently that has affected you deeply?

Have you asked your guardian angel anything recently?

Whilst you may not have an answer to these questions, discovering a white feather is a good omen.

#2 DREAMS

It is widely believed that one of the best ways for our guardian angel to contact us in when we sleep. After all, you are relaxed when you are sleeping, your subconscious is free to roam and there is no fear or stress to prevent you from receiving the message or tuning into what the angel is conveying to you.

Many people have confirmed that when they have contacted their angel through prayer before falling asleep, they have dreamed vividly afterwards. Dreams can be full of symbols and it is said that angels use symbols to pass on information to you. If this is the case, you should consider where you have seen this symbol before and whether it has a role in your life.

Whilst you are dreaming, your angel may make an appearance as a friend or a teacher. Alternatively, the message maybe more subtle taking form such as a thought or a feeling. You may have one particular dream which is repetitive. If this is the case, then you should try and make notes in order to try and decipher the message.

#3 SCENT

Clairalience or ‘clear smell’ is the documented phenomena that has been deemed as a spiritual encounter with the acquisition of a physical smell. Spiritual smells could be a sign from your guardian angel. This mysterious force tries to find a channel to talk to you. This is a sign that your guardian angel is with you.

Guardian angels may send you a scent that reminds you of someone or a pet. This is a sign that the guardian angel is close. People have mentioned that the smell was like roses even though none were nearby.

#4 REPETITION

You may have heard the saying ‘it comes in 3’s. In order to get your attention, a guardian angel may use repetition to ram the message home. For example, if you hear or experience the same thing repeated three times, you may want to take notice and investigate further.

Angels may also communicate with you through recurring songs you hear on the radio or by causing you to hear a series of songs, all with a very similar theme. If you wake up with a song in your head and then you hear it again during the day, then it maybe your guardian angel conveying a message to you.

Another example of repetition is what is known as ‘angel numbers’ such as 111 or 444. It is well documented that angels use repetitive numbers in order to communicate. These repetitive numbers may come up on clocks, doors, letters, car license plates or in dreams. There is an angel numbers guide and their meanings at the end of this post.

#5 FEELING HAPPY OR AT PEACE

Have you every suddenly felt a feeling of pure happiness, contentment or peacefulness fall upon you for no apparent reason? If you suddenly feel a profound sense of emotional warmth, this is a sign that an angel is watching over you.

We are normally so busy going about our daily business that we are not aware of the signs. It’s thought that signs like these are the angels trying to get our attention so that they can intervene and guide us in a particular way or offer us reassurance when we need it most. When you suddenly feel happy or at peace, it is your guardian angel letting you know of their presence.

#6 ORBS

Orbs or ‘spheres of light’ have been known to appear in photographs or in places are considered representations of angels. These can take the shape of a bright white light or in different colours. Angels sometimes use orbs as their vehicles to appear in the physical world to convey a particular message.

It is generally considered that If a guardian angel appears to you inside an orb, it is to let you know you are loved, or to provide you with inspiration at difficult and challenging times in your life.

These orbs can manifest themselves in many different colours and each colour represents a different meaning. There is an orb colour guide and their meanings at the end of this post.

BONUS #1 See our supplementary video ‘Guardian Angels’ by clicking on the image below:

BONUS #2 See ‘Who is your Guardian Angel?’ which can unlock the secret of your guardian angel’s name and much more. Click on image below for details:

Bonus #3 Angels numbers guide. Click here

Bonus #4 Orb colour guide. Click here

How to improve your low self-esteem

Self-esteem is an individual’s subjective evaluation of their own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame Wikipedia

5 ways to combat the feeling of low-self esteem

There are many reasons why a person may have developed low self-esteem. An unhappy childhood where the parents or teachers were over critical with the child’s behaviour or performance. Academic underachievement at school or ongoing life events such as a relationship breakdown or financial trouble.

Whatever the root of the problem is, the individual will create negative thoughts in their mind that makes them feel inadequate, incompetent, and maybe even feel unlovable. This in turn may make them find difficulty in making choices in their life.

#1 Stop your inner critique

Try to stop criticising yourself so much and learn to love yourself. Replace the inner voice that is negative with a positive one. You are unique, there is no-one like you and you have a lot to offer. You just have to firstly believe it.

Being self-critical is not a bad thing if you use it as a tool and not let it control your life. It can spur you on to get things done or to do things better than the last time. We all should learn from our mistakes. But the problem is the danger that being self-critical can drag down your self-esteem and be counter-productive.

Look at life and problems with a beginner’s mind-rather than automatically responding to situations with the same negative pattern of behaviour. You need to approach a problem or situation as though you are seeing it for the first time.

#2 Be kind to yourself (Stay self-connected)

Being kind to yourself means being gentle to yourself at times when you feel like being self-critical. Think what you’d say to a friend in a similar situation. We often give far better advice to others than we do to ourselves.

Mindfulness can help with concentrating on yourself without interpretation or judgement. It is a form of meditation which allows you to let go of your racing thoughts that maybe harming you or distracting you from your goal. More on the subject of mindfulness in another post which will be published soon.

#3 Keep a journal

I know that this is something you may feel is not worth the effort but it does work. Write things down at the end of each day that describes what you can appreciate about yourself or what you have achieved from that day-however small. Identify what you are good at. We’re all good at something, whether it’s cooking, singing, being a good friend or listener. We also tend to enjoy doing the things we’re good at, which can help boost your mood.

Recording your thoughts is an excellent way of learning about yourself. Aim to have at least 5 positive things on your list and, if it is working for you, add to it regularly. Then put your list somewhere you can see it. That way, you can keep reminding yourself that you’re improving.

#4 Accept compliments

One of the problems of having a low estimate of yourself is the reluctance to accept compliments, which is ironic especially as this is the time when you need them the most. You may have a built-in reactive response to accepting complements. A recent study showed that people with low self-esteem have more trouble accepting compliments. This is mainly due to the individual feeling embarrassed, or doubts the sincerity, or that they feel patronized.

Set yourself a goal to tolerate and accept compliments when they are given to you. This is important for healthy relationships, allows you to accept your core self and helps in the process of healing from trauma.

#5 Set realistic expectations

Another reason for self-esteem failure is that you set the bar so high in the first place. If this is the case realise that you are your worst enemy. If you set the bar too high you are in line for a fall.

It is right to set goals and challenges for yourself-but make them realistic. Write down the things that challenge you most and then pick a time to address each one. Work on the easier ones first or the ones that take the least time. Then move onto the more difficult ones. If you apply this method to your challenges, you will be surprised at its effectiveness and it’s is a practical way to improve your self-esteem.

#1 See our supplementary video ‘Fear of Failure’ by clicking on the image below.

#2 See ‘The Ultimate Self-Esteem Formula’ that can help you put your life back on track. Click on image below for details.

How NOT to avoid a difficult conversation

You have put it off or avoided it for a little while, but the problem won’t go away and now you feel it has reached a stage where you have to have the inevitable confrontation with someone. Before we start;

WARNING!

There are certain circumstances where you cannot have a confrontation:

  • You have witnessed or the situation involves illegal activity
  • You do not feel safe or abuse is involved
  • Difficult relationships or events that are better left in the past

If any of the above rings true, then this post is not for you and it is better to seek professional advice right away. If the above is not the case-then read on!

In most cases it is human nature and common to try and avoid conflict, especially if you are on the receiving end, but this mainly seems to cause more of the same. It is not easy to conduct a difficult conversation but there are ways to make it effective. These tips can help if you need to have a long-avoided conversation in a relationship, at work or within the community.

Here are 5 tips on how to have a difficult conversation:

#1 Preparation

Do not start a conversation without having a plan. Try not to bring emotion such as anger into the conversation. To not prepare is normally a disaster about to happen. Not only should you think rationally on what you need to say to them, but also consider the impact on the other person and how you think they will react. This does not mean that you talk your way out of it, just consider on what you think the outcome will be. The more prepared you are, the more confident you will be.

Consider what you want the outcome to be following the conversation you are about to have with that person. Generally, there are three outcomes when conducting a difficult conversation:

  • A definitive solution which is your desired result
  • A mutually agreeable strategy or plan which is a roadmap for finding a solution
  • A mutual understanding which may not solve the problem but will defuse the conflict

#2 Discuss it with someone you trust

Sometimes sharing what you are going to do with a friend can help. They may give you a fresh perspective or provide with something that you have not considered. Your friend should be able to empathise with you.

Tell your friend the following:

  • Tell your friend the reason why you need to have this difficult conversation with this other person
  • Your feelings towards the other person
  • What you feel the other person is feeling towards you
  • What you are going to say to the person
  • What you hope the outcome will be

Do not get angry with your friend if they do not agree with what you are about to do or, in the unlikely event, if they feel that the other person is right. Listen to what they have to say as it may be the best thing you did. Being your friend does not mean they have to agree with everything you say but they should empathise with your position and provide insight into why they do not agree with you. Remember all this is part of your planning stage.

#3 Your difficult conversation

Consider how you are going to conduct the difficult conversation. Is it in person, by phone or video call? In person is likely to be the best, but whatever option you take, make sure it is what you feel most comfortable with.

The elements of your difficult conversation should include:

  • The opening statement. The reason why you want this conversation.
  • What you are feeling at this moment and why.
  • Tell them that you want to discuss the way forward for both of you,
  • When it is their turn to speak try not to interrupt and carefully listen to what they have to say. Stay in control even if the conversation gets heated.

Once you have both made your opening statements, you next add the following to the conversation:

  • Explain why you have raised this conversation as you want to work this problem out.
  • Ask them why do they think the situation has come to this stage?
  • What you need from them
  • What can you do to help?
  • Agree a way forward

#4 During the difficult conversation

During your conversation, try and remember the following:

  • Trust the conversation process and always listen to the other person, as this can greatly improve the conversation.
  • Whether the conversation turns good or bad, always remember why you wanted the conversation in the first place.
  • You may dislike the person but tolerance is important here. Always stay in control of your emotions.
  • Remember the hopes you shared with your friend about the outcome. Is there something during the conversation that has supported your hope?
  • If it goes well then you have most likely gained respect from the other person and an understanding of what they are feeling.
  • If it is not going well, remember at least you tried.

#5 Ending the conversation

Always try and end a conversation with an agreement of a way forward. Consider what has changed following this conversation and discuss it with them.

Even if the outcome did not go the way you wanted, always provide a gesture of gratitude. Thank them for allowing you the opportunity to hold the conversation.

Bonus Tips!

#1 See our supplementary video ‘How to say what you think-not what they want to hear’ by clicking on the image below.

#2 See The Amazing You an Emergency Change Your Life Plan that works and can help you put your life back on track. Click on image below for details.

10 ways to deal with insomnia

“Insomnia is a sleep disorder in which you have trouble falling and/or staying asleep. The condition can be short-term (acute) or can last a long time (chronic). It may also come and go.”

Insomnia is something that effects everyone in their lives at some point in time. You can alleviate this condition by making changes to your sleeping habits. For example, read before you go to bed and/or avoid eating or drinking shortly before you try to go to sleep.

There are many reasons for insomnia, such as stress, anxiety, disturbances from noise, room temperature being or too cold, eating and/or drinking just before you go to bed, for instance.

Whatever the reasons are, here are 10 tips to try and achieve a restful night:

#1 Try and maintain regular sleeping hours

Sleeping studies have proven that if you go to bed and get up in the morning roughly at the same time regularly is beneficial to your wellbeing. Sleeping trials have proven that sleeping irregularly, causes a higher the risk for obesity, hypertension, and elevated blood sugar, and the higher the projected risk of developing heart disease.

Ideally, you should stick to the same sleep schedule every night so your body can find its natural rhythm and settle into a regular sleep-wake cycle. But many people don’t prioritize this, which can throw off the body’s internal clock. If you constantly change the time you fall asleep and wake up, your body won’t be able to adjust to a set schedule.

#2 Create the right setting for sleep

Your bedroom should be a peaceful sleeping environment. This means, no noise, keeping your room dark and temperature should be controlled. Your body heat peaks in the evening and then drops to its lowest levels when you’re asleep, so a cool 16-18°C (60-65°F) is thought to be an ideal temperature in a bedroom. Temperatures over 24°C (71°F) are likely to cause restlessness, while a cold room of about 12°C (53°F) will make it difficult to drop off.

If your pet sleeps in your bedroom with you, consider whether it disturbs you during the night, and if it does, whether you should move it to another room so as to help you sleep.

#3 A comfortable bed is important

A good back supporting mattress is essential to getting a good night’s sleep. Without it, you will probably be tired, achy and irritable in the morning. Not a good way to start the day. Also, this could have a significant impact on your partner too.

Careful consideration for the type of mattress you require is a priority. It is true to say that different beds suit different types of people. The type of mattress you choose should support your weight but also if you are sharing a bed, consideration for your partner should also be taken into account. A mattress that is too soft will cause your body to slump whilst a mattress too hard will apply unneeded pressure to your back, hips and shoulders.

#4 Try to relax before going to bed

Running a warm bath just before going to bed is one way to relax. Studies have found that taking a hot bath about 90 minutes before bed could help people fall asleep more quickly. The hot water changes your body’s core temperature so that you go to bed with a lower temperature. A drop in temperature helps signal to the body that it’s time for bed

Another way is to drink warm milky drinks and herbal teas just before bed. Try and avoid tea, coffee or any alcohol which may keep you awake.

Spending half an hour reading has proved beneficial, play some soft music, listen to an audio book or practice yoga or breathing techniques. All should be helpful for a good night’s sleep

#5 Regular exercise

If done moderately in the evening, exercise such as a small job or a swim will relieve tension that may have built up over the day.

Ensure that you do not undertake rigorous exercise just before bed as this may stimulate you so that cannot sleep.

#6 Avoid overindulgence

Avoid too much alcohol or food at the end of the day as this will interrupt your sleeping pattern. Alcohol may make you drowsy but it can impair proper sleep.

A large meal before bed will activate your digestive system and you will have trouble sleeping.

#7 Avoid smoking

Nicotine is a stimulant. People who smoke take longer to fall asleep, wake up more frequently, and often have more disrupted sleep.

#8 Avoid Tea or Coffee

Research has shown that test subjects drinking tea, coffee or energy drinks in the evening had trouble sleeping. Caffeine is a stimulant that keeps you awake.

Instead, try a warm milky drink or herbal tea before bed.

#9 Record your concerns

If you tend to worry when you lie in bed about the next day, record or list the things that concern you or things that you need to do for the next day.

The aim is to avoid doing these things when you’re in bed, trying to sleep.

10# If you cannot sleep, get up

If you are unable to sleep, do not lie there-get up and do something. After a little while, you will probably feel tired and that is when you need to go back to bed and try again.

Remember!

If you are suffering persistently with being unable to sleep. Go and see your doctor.

Bonus Tips!

#1 See our supplementary video Deep Sleep Meditation by clicking on the image below.

#2 See Cure Insomnia-Six Steps to Sleep-The Natural Insomnia Cure. Cure your insomnia in 6 simple steps & start sleeping 8 hours every night – in just 3 days! Click on image below for details.

How to maintain a healthy relationship with your Partner

Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you. Walter Winchell

Here are 5 basic elements to keep a healthy relationship going:

#1 You are important

A surprising one to start with but fundamental. No-it doesn’t mean “you are more important than others”, just that you have to love and appreciate who you are in order to attract like for like. Nobody wants a negative person in their life. No-one wants a partner who is constantly feeling that they are worthless. If you generate positive thinking about yourself, you will attract self-minded people who will be happy to share their lives with you.

If you are serious about your relationship, you must ask yourself what do you want from your relationship? It then follows, that if you set high standards for the type of partner you want, or if your partner already sets high standards then you must try and set the same benchmark for yourself. This then moves onto the second element:

#2 Make your partner’s needs your own

In order to make the relationship work, you need to establish what your partner’s needs are and making them your own. Is it security? Encouragement? Commitment? How do they want you to express your mutual understanding? Is it through empathy? Action? Touch?

Once you have an understanding of what your partner wants out of the relationship, and you feel the same, then you are already on the road to maintain a successful relationship. This has to be not only on an intellectual level, but also emotionally. Do not forget yourself, however, it is equally important that this devotion is shared by your partner and it should be reciprocated.

#3 Maintain communication

This means listening as well as talking. Whilst it is important to inform your partner what you feel or want, it works both ways. It is about what you can do for the person you care about. It is essential also that your partner responds in the same way.

Being honest and open with your partner is the key to success. You will have to face the bad times as well as the good, and if you face both with openness and honesty you will succeed in at least maintaining your own integrity. You do not need to avoid conflict. If your partner is worth all your attention, he or she will love you for these qualities you display.

#4 Maintain Trust

If you love them-set them free. If they love you, they are going nowhere. Trust means that you feel safe in the thought that your partner is reliable both physically and emotionally. And it can be built upon to make something strong and worthwhile.

Trust is most important in a relationship. From trust springs respect. Trust is vital during times in the relationship of stress, uncertainty and pain. If there is any doubt in your relationship, you need to go to step 3, or you will both suffer.

#5 Appreciate that you are both different

There are times that you will both disagree and/or realise that you are both different. This is perfectly natural and does not need to be an issue. Indeed, the differences were probably some of the reasons you both found each other interesting and worth further investigation.

It was at these times that you probably found that you had more in common than you initially considered which was the spark that started the fire!

With differences of opinion, you will need to try to understand and appreciate your partner’s position. Do not ignore it.  You already should be aware of your partner’s views on most subjects, and if this is something new, just do what you did originally-just talk about it.

If you can accept and understand the differences, you can build on the aspects that you both already agree on, and you will appreciate the relationship you both have.

Although we confirmed 5 -there is a 6th element…….

KEEP IT GOING!

You have got to this point in your relationship which is healthy. You go forward by following the above-mentioned steps. If something comes up to challenge your relationship, however major or minor, learn from it and keep going. Keeping a healthy relationship is something you must cultivate and maintain, no matter how long the relationship has lasted. It is a process of working on it instinctively every day-and don’t forget-it should be enjoyable and fun-not an ordeal.

In our previous video regarding relationships, “Creating a healthy relationship with your partner” which complements this post, we explored briefly the 5 basic elements of building up a relationship to be meaningful and successful. If you would like to view this video, please click on this link.

Finally, for the ultimate guide in relationships and a reference source to use for any eventuality, click here.

Ideas to Lose Weight Naturally

Losing weight is always difficult even for the experienced. We are constantly bombarded with the latest fad that promises a revolution in the dieting process.

The following blog really is just simple advice. Here are 10 tips to losing weight naturally:

Drinking (3 Tips)

#1 Drink water before meals

One study showed that drinking water 30 minutes before meals increased weight loss by 44% over 3 months. Water consumption acutely reduces meal energy intake (EI) among middle-aged and older adults.

Test results showed that adults consuming 500 ml water prior to each main meal leads to greater weight loss than a hypocaloric diet alone in middle-aged and older adults.

Remember not to drink too soon before or after a meal as the water will dilute the digestive juices. You can also drink water an hour after the meal to allow the body to absorb the nutrients.

#2 Drink coffee or tea

Metabolism is the process by which your body converts what you eat and drink into energy. Caffeine boosts your metabolism by 3–11%. The higher it is, the more calories you burn and the easier it is to lose weight and keep it off.

#3 Avoid sugary drinks and fruit juice

The more concentrated sugar and calories in fruit juice can lead to obesity and inappropriate weight gain.

Excessive weight gain is associated with high blood pressure, hypertension, stroke, diabetes and other negative health issues later in life.

Eating (5 Tips)

#1 Choose weight-loss-friendly foods

Such as such as eggs, fish, lean meat, vegetables, fruit, nuts, seeds and legumes. Different foods go through different metabolic pathways in your body. Having a healthy gut may help protect against inflammation and leptin resistance, which is one of the main hormonal drivers of obesity.

#2 Eat a high protein breakfast

Such as Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, eggs etc.  Studies have shown that adding more protein to your diet is the easiest and most effective way to lose weight. Eating a high-protein breakfast could reduce cravings and calorie intake throughout the day.

#3 Eat soluble fiber

Also known as roughage, is the part of plant-based foods (grains, fruits, vegetables, nuts, and beans) that the body can’t break down. Findings show that soluble fibers may promote weight loss. Fiber supplements like glucomannan can also help.

#4 Base your diet on whole foods

Whole foods are generally those that remain close to their state in nature. They do not have added sugars, starches, flavorings, or other manufactured ingredients. They are not primarily produced in a factory; in this way, they are the opposite of processed foods. They are healthier, more filling, and much less likely to cause overeating than processed foods.

#5 Eat slowly

Eating quickly can lead to weight gain over time, while eating slowly makes you feel more full and boosts weight-reducing hormones.

Finally, 2 more tips you should try to do regularly

#1 Weigh yourself every day

Studies show that people who weigh themselves every day are much more likely to lose weight and keep it off for a long time.

#2 Get good quality sleep

Sleep is important for many reasons, and poor sleep is one of the biggest risk factors for weight gain.

There is a 3-Week weight loss and health improvement program that you can quickly review to see if it is for you. Try the The Smoothie Diet 21 Day Weight Loss Program by clicking here to view the details:

The Smoothie Diet 21 Day Weight Loss Program

For more information on weight-loss, you can click on the link to see the video “5 Tips To Lose Weight”

4 Benefits of Meditation

When you meditate, there is a positive impact on your physical wellbeing, your health, your mental condition and emotional state. In this post, Inzspire looks at 4 benefits of meditation and the effects it has for your wellbeing. There is also a complimentary video below if you want to know more about meditation.

#1 Physical Benefits

The physical benefits of mediation are often overlooked and whilst this is not a definitive list, it gives you a general indication of the value meditation offers you:

Benefits the Cardiovascular System

Meditation essentially consists of extended sitting and controlled breathing. These work to reduce blood pressure and cholesterol, leading to less physical tension, which is good for your heath and enhances your energy for physical activities.

Benefits Athletic Performance

Most athletes will tell you that 90% of the game is mental. Meditation improves your concentration, but can also help you with flexibility and balance.

Reduces Stress and Anxiety

Meditation is great for reducing the physical symptoms of stress and anxiety, shortness of breath, tingling limbs, muscle tension and more.

Benefits the Immune System

Findings have indicated that regular meditation practice can help people not only fight colds and illness, but can also help slow or control the pain of serious diseases and illnesses.

Benefits Pain Management

Meditation will help recovering from a minor or major injury and assist in dealing with chronic pain and discomfort.

#2 Health Benefits

Here are the common benefits for your health.

A healthy heart

Clinical studies have clearly shown that daily meditation improves blood circulation, decreases blood pressure and lowers the heart rate which is good for your heart.

Better-controlled stress and anxiety

We have a stress hormone called cortisol which is released by the hypothalamus in the brain every time we get into stressful situations. Research had shown that cortisol is greatly reduced when meditating.

A better night’s sleep

Insomnia is a world-wide problem for people. Everyone at some stage has had a sleepless night. Studies have shown that guided meditation has helped sufferers get good quality sleep.

A stronger immune system

The immune system is a complex network of cells and proteins that defends the body against infection. What is remarkable is that the immune system keeps a record of every germ it has ever defeated so it can recognise and destroy the microbe quickly if it enters the body again. Various studies have shown results that prove meditation improves the immune system functions.

#3 Mental Benefits

As we get older our brain functions gradually deteriorate resulting in memory loss. Meditation helps bolster brain functions thus decelerating memory loss. It also enhances mental agility, alertness, better focus and concentration.


The mental health benefits of meditation include better focus and concentration, improved self-awareness and self-esteem, lower levels of stress and anxiety, and fostering kindness. Meditation also has benefits for your physical health, as it can improve your tolerance for pain and help fight substance addiction.

#4 Emotional Benefits

The brain is the part of the body where meditation can really be of great benefit if performed regularly. Results have proven that we become more capable of coping with negative emotions when we meditate and practice viewing heightened emotions as passing states.

Research shows that gray matter, namely the area of the brain responsible for emotional regulation, planning, and problem-solving — as well as the cortical thickness, responsible for learning and memory–both increase with regular meditation practice. Alternatively, the amygdala, which regulates how we feel stress, fear, and anxiety, responds to meditation by shrinking.

Inflammatory chemicals called cytokines, which are released in response to stress can affect mood, leading to depression. A review of several studies suggests meditation may reduce depression by decreasing these inflammatory chemicals and lead to more positive emotions, longer-lasting emotional stability and heightened focus during daily life.

For more information on Meditation, you can click on the link below to see the video “Meditation For Beginners.”

https://youtu.be/i9ab0Vk-rLw 
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MEDITATION FOR BEGINNERS (guided meditation)

FREE GUIDE!

Bonus For an insight on the best way to meditate, see ‘The Bio-Energy Code’. Most programs simply focus on “mindset” – while completely ignoring that your body is drowning in stored negative energy. The Bio-Energy Code addresses ALL the areas of blocked energy – all at once. There’s no long and drawn out process of learning and mastering the energy centres or chakras. The Bio-Energy Code is the only manifestation approach that combines ancient and time-honoured chakra “energy work” with cutting-edge brain science. Click on here for details: